I grew up in a home where godliness was not only taught but lived. In all my years as a child, I cannot recall a single moment where I saw my parents sin openly. There was no profanity in our home. There was no drinking, no fighting, no confusion. My parents were not perfect, but they were consistent. They loved God sincerely and lived out their faith with integrity.
But as for me and my five siblings, we cannot exactly say the same.
Even with parents who modeled holiness before us, I learned early that salvation cannot be inherited. I could not cling to their relationship with God and assume it covered me. I needed my own. So at sixteen, I surrendered my life and received the Holy Spirit for myself.
In many ways, I was born into church in every sense of the word. My mother and father had me before they were married. Five days after giving birth to me, my mother received the Holy Spirit. My father followed soon after, and together they decided to get married and build a home centered around God.
I grew up hearing gospel music fill the house on Saturday mornings. I woke up on countless early mornings to the sound of my parents praying together. When disagreements arose, scripture settled it. When decisions needed to be made, the word of God was our final reference point. We went to church often and heard sermons preached with conviction and purity. I grew up surrounded by people who truly wanted to please God.
It was a loving home. A stable home. A home filled with peace and integrity. For that foundation, I am forever grateful.
But there was something that growing up in church did not teach me.
It did not teach me how easily a person can fall into self deception.
It did not teach me how blind you can become to your own flaws when you are immersed in church culture.
It did not teach me that knowing scripture is not the same as knowing God.
It did not teach me that self righteousness is subtle, deceptive, and incredibly dangerous.
Because when you grow up around holiness, it is easy to assume you are holy, even when you are not.
I had the ability to see the sins of others very clearly while overlooking my own. I judged what I considered worldly in others while ignoring my personal struggles like lying or sneaking cookies out of the jar. And yet, at five years old, I was already condemning adults for things that were not even biblically wrong. A family friend used to beg my father to lock me in the closet whenever he visited because he knew I would meet him at the door with my little finger pointed, ready to tell him off.
And the truth is, I was not even saved. I had not been baptized. My soul was not converted. I was simply a church girl with a strong opinion and no spiritual maturity to support it.
That is the trap for many of us who grew up in church. Our environment can give us a false sense of superiority. It can make us feel spiritually elite without true intimacy with God. It can make us think we are something we are not.
When I entered high school after giving my life to God, I had a desire to share Christ with others. In the courtyard one day, I debated how to approach my peers. Should I beat them over the head with scripture like I did as a child, demanding they listen because I felt I was spiritually superior or should I approach them in love while still maintaining my standard
I chose to lead with love.
By the middle of that school year, two classmates and I were leading a Bible study of almost one hundred students. It grew because we ministered with compassion and consideration, not condemnation.
Over the years, God has taught me how to witness, how to lead, and how to stay humble. My pastor and elders helped shape me, but experience has been my greatest teacher. I have learned how easy it is to slip into self deception. I have learned how simple it is to think too highly of yourself and forget you are human and frail. I have learned that anything good that happens while I minister has nothing to do with me. It is God working through me, and the glory belongs to Him alone.
I often use an example when teaching about humility and ministry. Imagine someone gives me a gift to deliver to you. The gift is valuable. The person who purchased it sacrificed greatly to get it. They trust me to deliver it safely. When you receive it, you are grateful and overwhelmed by how perfect it is.
Now imagine I try to take the credit for the gift. How foolish would that be It would be like a UPS driver taking credit for a package he simply delivered but did not purchase.
This is exactly how it works in ministry.
God gives the gift.
We only deliver it.
If someone receives healing, God gets the glory.
If someone receives salvation, God gets the glory.
If someone is encouraged through our words, God gets the glory.
We are simply carriers. Delivery boys and girls entrusted with something holy.
This awareness protects us from pride and the slow drift of self deception.
Many leaders fall into deception because they begin to rely on their gift more than their relationship with God. They begin to depend on the applause of people rather than the approval of God. They get used to operating without prayer. They get used to ministering from talent rather than intimacy.
I know this because I have been there.
I have walked onto platforms after ten minutes of prayer and still watched God move. And if you are not careful, moments like that can trick you into believing your gift is enough. But your gift is not your god. And your anointing cannot be sustained without time in God’s presence.
Healing from deception begins with honesty. Sometimes you must step back, rest, recover, and be honest about where you truly are spiritually. Healing is becoming sound, being mended, and getting well again. You cannot skip this process.
Just like a sick person cannot eat a full meal when their body is weak, someone who is spiritually wounded may not be able to handle strong correction. They may only be able to sip broth for a season. Gentleness is not passivity. It is wisdom.
I learned this caring for my mother after she had a stroke. Every movement required gentleness and constant communication. Does this hurt Can you feel this Do you need to change positions That is the same tenderness we must offer people who are spiritually wounded.
Paul says to restore people in a spirit of meekness while considering ourselves.
Galatians 6:1
Why Because the moment we stop considering ourselves, we become vulnerable to the same temptations and deception that captured them.
Some of you have been hurt by people, doctrine, manipulation, or misuse of leadership. You may have given up things you later realized were not sin. You may have trusted leaders who took advantage of your innocence or generosity. You may feel bruised spiritually. But even in this, there is a word that changes everything.
But.
But means there is something on the other side.
There is hope.
There is recovery.
There is healing.
There is a future.
If you are breathing, there is a but in your story.
At the end of the day, you must reassess your source. If your connection to God is unmovable and unwavering, no deception from yourself, others, or bad doctrine can overcome you.
And that is what growing up in church did not teach me.
Experience did.
Walking with God did.
Honesty did.
Humility did.
